How to Restore Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

How to Restore Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

Restoring sexual intimacy in marriage is a common issue many couples come to couples counseling or sex therapy to resolve. However, it’s also true that sex isn’t the ONLY thing in a great relationship: friendship, teamwork, communication, emotional safety, respect, and appreciation are all fundamentally important too. And yet, even when all those strengths are present, if you’re not connecting sexually over a long period of time… eventually lack of physical intimacy can erode even the best relationship.

Have You Drifted Apart?

It’s easy to fall into the “friend zone” in a long-term relationship. Certain phases of life that couples naturally encounter can throw cold water on your sexual connection: Having a new child, going through an intense phase of your career, or simply feeling overwhelmed by the busy-ness of modern life can make it hard to find the time and energy to put into sexual intimacy in marriage.

Furthermore, sexuality is kind of like the “canary in the coal mine” of a relationship; When things are feeling off emotionally, or when communication is breaking down and resentments are building… increased distance in the bedroom can be one of the earliest signs that you need to work on your relationship.

Sometimes, working on the other issues in a relationship like emotional safety, communication, teamwork, and appreciation can restore the goodwill between a couple and their sex life naturally improves. But sometimes, sexual problems ARE the problem and need to be addressed directly.

However, talking about sexual issues and sexual intimacy in marriage is not as easy as it sounds. Many couples struggle to communicate about their sexual relationship, often feeling embarrassed or vulnerable, or afraid of hurting their partner’s feelings. That’s one of the reasons why couples often enlist the support of a good marriage counselor or sex therapist to help restore sexual intimacy in marriage.

Restoring Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

And that’s where we’re going today: To help us understand the most common sexual problems that couples encounter, and how to resolve them, I’ve invited expert sex therapist Dori, MS, SAS, MACA to speak with us on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

We’ll be discussing:

  • Why sexless marriages happen and what you can do about it.
  • Why couples often have differences in sexual desire (meaning one person wants to have sex more than the other, and the partner who wants more sex often feels rejected) and what you can do about it.
  • The role that pornography can play in a relationship —  both positive and negative.
  • Why body image and self-esteem issues are so often at the root of sexual problems, and how you can work together as a couple to resolve them.
  • Differences in the sexual response cycle between men and women, and how understanding arousal can help you both develop a stronger sexual connection.
  • How to talk about your sexual relationship in a healthy and constructive way.

Hope this conversation helps you find your way back together again and restores sexual intimacy in marriage. And if you’d like support, I invite you to schedule a free consultation.

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby & Dori B., MS, SAS, MACA

P.S. — I have more free resources for you on restoring a satisfying sex life in my sexual and emotional intimacy collection of articles and podcasts. I hope you check it out — I made it for you! xoxo Lisa

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How to Restore Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

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Marriage Counseling Questions | Couples Therapy Questions

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6 Comments

    1. Common issue Michael! Check out this wonderful podcast I recorded with my colleague Dori, who is a sex therapist as well as a couples counselor: When You’re Hot, and They’re Not: Differences in Sexual Desire.

      I hope this information is a good start. If you’re serious about working with your partner to make positive changes (and this relationship is important enough to you to invest in) I do hope you consider doing couples counseling with Dori, or another one of the fantastic relationship coaches on our team.

      This issue can drive a wedge between couples and can also be difficult to change without professional support. I’d hate for that to happen to you two. We’re here to help!

      Sincerely,
      Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

  1. I do agree with you that lack of physical intimacy can erode even the best relationship. Thank you so much for the podcast. It is really nice and helpful too.

  2. Common issue Michael! Check out this wonderful podcast I recorded with my colleague Dori, who is a sex therapist as well as a couples counselor: When You’re Hot, and They’re Not: Differences in Sexual Desire.

    I hope this information is a good start. If you’re serious about working with your partner to make positive changes (and this relationship is important enough to you to invest in) I do hope you consider doing couples counseling with Dori, or another one of the fantastic relationship coaches on our team.

    This issue can drive a wedge between couples and can also be difficult to change without professional support. I’d hate for that to happen to you two. We’re here to help!

    Sincerely,
    Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

  3. I do agree with you that lack of physical intimacy can erode even the best relationship. Thank you so much for the podcast. It is really nice and helpful too.

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