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How To Stop Worrying: Avoid The Mind Trap

How To Stop Worrying: Avoid The Mind Trap

Anxiety Management: How to Stop Worrying About The “What-If’s”

I have an infant, which means that over the past several months I have often found myself awake in the middle of the night feeding a hungry baby. Although I would do everything possible to keep my mind quiet and in sleep mode I started to notice a recurring pattern.

I would have just settled into the still and quiet of the night when I would hear a little voice in my head say “what should we feel anxious about right now?” This voice was clear as could be, prompting me to run through all the things in life I could worry about that would most likely keep me up for the rest of the night. Having spent years as a therapist and life coach helping others learn to manage their anxiety as well as teaching myself to manage my own, I was able to see this for what it was…a trap.

The mind is an amazing tool that can also be a bit of a narcissist, demanding attention when it is beginning to feel forgotten. In order to regain your focus, the mind will create the illusion of distress and unrest where there is none.

Learning how to combat the “worry trap” of the mind creates an experience of true freedom.

People have a tendency to believe that their thoughts have power over them, when in reality, we have power over our thoughts. Research into evidence-based forms of therapy, such as cognitive therapy, shows that by repeatedly practicing a different thought patterns we can create new neurological pathways in the brain. This means that with practice, you can begin to control the reflexive response of anxiety and feel more at peace.

Three Steps to Get Out of The Mind-Trap

  1. Ask Questions: You can take the first step out of the mind trap by asking yourself a couple of simple questions. Is there anything I can solve right now? And if so, what are the solvable problems? I know that at 2:00 in the morning the chances of me solving any of my worries are slim to none, making it pointless for me to give that little voice any attention at all.
  2. Talk Back: I found that the simple act of saying to myself “there is nothing I can do about any of these anxieties at this moment” quiets that nagging voice.
  3. Solve Your Solvable Problems, or Let It Go: However, when that voice presents in a moment where you can tackle the anxiety, identifying the solvable problems does two things. First, it exposes whether or not the anxious thoughts are based in reality and second it helps you regain your sense of control. If there are no solvable problems than you can consider it wasted worry and move on. On the other hand, if there are solvable problems, taking the steps to remedy whatever it is that is provoking the anxious feelings will provide a sense of empowerment and ease the feeling of impending doom that anxiety tends creates.
So, next time you hear that sneaky siren calling you into the depths of anxiety, remember, it is only a trap. You have the power to ignore the call altogether or take the necessary steps to avoid the deceptive lure into the mind trap.
The Head and The Heart: Which to Listen To?

The Head and The Heart: Which to Listen To?

Does your heart tell you one thing, and your head another?

As a Denver therapist and online life coach, I often sit with people who are stuck in agonizing indecision. Part of them wants to make a change, but another part cautions against it. It could be about a relationship, their career, a move, or another major life event. Sometimes, people can feel a powerful emotional pull towards something that, rationally, seems like a terrible idea. Even more mystifying is when there is an objectively “right” choice that still feels like doom.

So which one should you listen to? It’s so confusing when you’re being pulled in different directions.

Here’s a new idea: Don’t give either too much weight, until you’ve done some work.

Know Thyself

The key to making the right decision is self awareness, and understanding your own vulnerabilities. Only then can you recognize when either your head or your heart is pulling you off track.

It’s hard work to recognize and flush out the “cognitive distortions” you might be most vulnerable to, and instead, cultivate values-based clarity. Likewise, it takes effort and intention to learn how to manage your emotions in a healthy way, and mindfully detach from old fears that are no longer necessary.

The good news is that that hard work pays off. When you are confident in your judgment AND in your emotional wisdom, then you can make major life decisions from a place of strength and confidence.

Start Right Now

Want to find out whether your head or your heart is currently ruling your life? Take this free mini-life coaching session with Dr. Bobby to find out. You’ll start developing self awareness, and also learn a couple new tricks to keep yourself in a good place.

Would you like to talk?

Schedule your free consultation. Meet online or in person.

Mind Control: Take Charge of Your Life

Mind Control: Take Charge of Your Life

Harness The Power of Your Mind

Do you ever get frustrated with yourself for not doing the things you know you should do? Of course! We all know how incredibly hard it can be to stay motivated, and stay on track for the long haul.

You only need to look at what a huge industry Life Coaching has become to see how many hundreds of thousands of people are enlisting the support of a coach to help them stay motivated, stay accountable, and make things happen. There is a reason why people reach out to life coaches: It can be tough to stay on track and follow through when you’re going it alone.

However, there are things that you can do on your own to take charge of your life, and achieve your goals. In particular, when you get in control of your mind you can transcend limitations and overcome obstacles that may have seemed insurmountable before.

Your Mind + Body connection is undeniably powerful. Research consistently shows the impact that your physical health, diet, exercise and sleep habits has on your mood and on the way you think. But it works the other way too — cognitive approaches to therapy have been found by research to be the most consistently effective way of improving your mood, feeling better, sleeping better, and getting better results.

[Tweet “When you get in control of your thoughts, you get in control of your life. “]

Learn How to Get In Control Of Your Mind

Being able to harness the power of your mind isn’t about luck or magic. Just like happiness is learned you can also learn how to use simple skills and strategies to build your motivation, resist the temptations that will lure you off track, and achieve your goals.

My guest on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, Sir John Hargrave, is here to teach you how. Sir John is the author of Mindhacking: How to Change Your Mind For Good in 21 Days. I spoke with Sir John a few months ago before he released his book. In our “Mindhacking: Reprogram Your Brain” podcast he discussed tools and tips you can use to “debug” your brain and straighten out your thinking process.

Today, he’s back to share his latest adventures and advice with us. To prove how powerful his mind control techniques are, Sir John just undertook a 21 day fast. He’s here today to speak with us about the mental ju-jitsu he used on himself to accomplish this goal. He’s sharing his insights with you, so YOU can use similar strategies to make things happen in your own life.

Listen to Sir John’s great, specific advice and learn how to increase your motivation, your focus, and your sense of control. Learn more about Sir John and his book, his program, and his latest adventures in mind control at www.mindhacki.ng

Take Control of Your Life: Listen Now

 

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Mind Control: Take Charge of Your Life

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

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The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast is Now on Stitcher!

How To Reprogram Your Brain

How To Reprogram Your Brain

Control Your Mind… Control Your Reality

On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I’m speaking with Sir John Hargrave about his new book, “Mindhacking.” In it, Sir John takes a fresh and funny look at how our thoughts determine both our emotions, and our reality.

Mindhacking is based on tried and true methods for learning how to create a “Happy Mind” — Cognitive Therapy and Mindfulness Training. Both are reliable, helpful strategies that have been used by decades by life coaches and therapists. But Sir John uses the metaphor of computer programming to understand how to reprogram your brain to get better outcomes.

I really enjoyed talking with Sir John about his ideas, as we share so many of the same evidence-based views on how people change:

• Self awareness of your “old patterns” is the first step in creating new ones
• Mindfulness skills are essential to feeling happy and well
• Learning how to shift your thoughts allows you to create healthy new feelings AND behaviors.

So listen to our conversation and learn how to improve your mental focus, “debug your mind” of problematic thoughts, and create your very own Reality Distortion Field — just like Steve Jobs!

Learn more about Sir John Hargrave and Mindhacking on his website: www.mindhacki.ng
Click here for your very own copy of Mindhacking — available now!

Mindhacking, with Sir John Hargrave: Listen Now

(Music Credits: Artist: SPCZ, Track: The Fourth Mind)

Growing Self Counseling & Coaching
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