What is EFT?
EFT is an experiential approach to couples therapy, meaning that it’s not about learning skills and strategies (though you’ll get those along the way too). EFCT will help you understand yourself and your partner differently, so that the moments that would have led to anger or hurt feelings in the past, can actually become powerful moments of bonding and connection.
If this sounds amazing… it actually is amazing. I’ve been honored to work as a marriage counselor guiding couples through this process. I can honestly say that when couples “shift” from viewing each other as hostile and emotionally dangerous to seeing each other vulnerable and in need of love and care — it is beautiful: empathy and compassion start to flow naturally. Through these new experiences, and shift in emotional perspective, everything about a relationship can change for the better.
The Practice of Emotionally Focused Therapy
Because Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy is such a powerful form of marriage counseling — and so darn effective — I really wanted to unpack it for you on today’s episode of the podcast, so you can understand how it works, and how to use the principles of EFT therapy to benefit your relationship.
I’ve invited my colleague Anastacia S., M.A., LMFT to join me on today’s show to answer your questions about emotionally focused couples therapy and to discuss how EFT therapy works.
Anastacia is an advanced, licensed marriage and family therapist on our team here at Growing Self. She practices Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, and she is also a clinical supervisor who trains other therapists seeking to become EFCT marriage counselors.
She has so much wisdom to share on this topic, and I’m delighted to share her perspective with you today! You can listen to her relationship advice using the podcast player above, or listen to “Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy” on Spotify or on Apple Podcasts. (Be sure to subscribe to the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast while you’re there!)
What is emotionally focused therapy? Listen to learn everything you ever wanted to know about EFT couples therapy and how it can help YOU transform your relationship. Ana and I are discussing:
- What Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy is, and how it’s different from other forms of couples counseling.
- How attachment styles impact your relationships.
- How our early experiences in our family of origin can impact our ways of relating as adults.
- How couples fall into negative spirals of reacting to each other, and why that’s so toxic to your relationship.
- What happens to relationships when we begin to create a “negative story” about our partners.
- Why healthy, securely attached people can appear to have avoidant or anxious tendencies in a distressed relationship.
- Understanding the pursue/withdraw pattern, and how to extract yourself from it.
- How to cultivate a secure attachment bond with your partner through emotional connection and responsiveness
- The difference between primary and secondary emotions.
- Cultural differences (and similarities) around how we connect and bond.
- What to do if you’re feeling like your relationship is too far gone for couples therapy.
- And so much more.
Ana and I both sincerely hope that this discussion helps you restore the love and connection in your relationship, in order to keep it strong, secure, and healthy for years to come.
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby