Marriage Counseling OnlineLet’s Meet at Your Place.
Marriage Counseling Online • Relationship Coaching Online
By Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT, BCC
I specialize in online marriage counseling and relationship coaching. I meet with couples from all over the world, in the privacy of their own homes. We dive deep into the issues that are creating anger, hurt and frustration, and I help them turn conflict into connection, and restore their strong bond. The process is virtually identical to the great work we do in-office. (Learn more about our effective approach to marriage counseling…)
But one thing I’ve noticed is that couples who meet with me for relationship coaching or marriage counseling online tend to be even more successful in repairing their relationships than some of the couples we meet with in person. I think I understand the two reasons why.
1. Marriage Counseling Online: It’s About Time
The busy, working professionals we help are often frantically busy. Getting two people in the same place at the same time to sit down with me for marriage counseling is like wrestling a couple of Tasmanian Devils.
Work schedules are erratic, someone has to go out of town, it’s a street-fight with rush hour traffic during the after-hours times most couples need, and then there’s the babysitter situation. Who’s going to take care of the kids while mom and dad are gone for three hours? (Driving to the office, having the marriage counseling session and then coming home again?)
In short: It’s totally a pain for people to make it to in-person relationship coaching or marriage counseling consistently.
In-Person = Inconsistent: Inconsistent = Ineffective
So what too often happens is that even the most earnest and committed couples are forced to come to marriage counseling inconsistently. And that is a problem. Because usually (obviously) when couples start marriage counseling it’s because they are not in a good place.
When couples start marriage counseling they are often struggling against a cycle of negative reactions to each other. Someone takes offense to something someone else said or did, and reacts negatively, and then the other person reacts negatively to the first person’s negative reaction, which elicits more negativity.
I don’t have to explain — if you’ve been married for more than two weeks, you know what I’m talking about. At any rate, these negative cycles are powerful. They can take on a life of their own, and be difficult to stop without consistent support from a marriage counselor. This is especially true in the beginning stages of marriage counseling, when people are still reeling from not-so-great experiences and not sure they are emotionally safe with each other. Without regular meetings, negative cycles flare up between sessions and the fragile healing work that’s been accomplished is undone.
So ideally, people are able to come to marriage counseling weekly in the beginning. Having these regular appointments allows a couple to keep the new ideas they are learning in our sessions fresh in their mind, and they are having at least weekly, new, good experiences with each other that helps change the trajectory of their interactions. If I can meet with a couple weekly for even 8-12 weeks, ever week, I can help them make amazing, lasting changes to their marriage.
But if a couple comes in for 8 or 12 sessions over the course of six months, meeting once every couple weeks or three …not so much. In
the time between appointments the fragile changes I’m helping the couple make collapse back into the old negative patterns. Every session feels like starting over, and we spend half the time soothing new hurts before we can circle back around to the growth work again.
I explain it to people that marriage counseling appointments are kind of like telephone poles that are holding wires off the ground. Closer together poles keep the wires firm and high. Too much distance and they sag to the ground.
Marriage Counseling Online = Consistency… and Better Results
So that’s why online marriage counseling is so great. Meeting with me for marriage counseling online cuts through many of the obstacles that keep people from being able to attend regular sessions. The outcome is that, frankly, they have a more effective experience in marriage counseling online.
With marriage counseling online, you don’t have two people screaming out of work and fighting traffic to make it to the meeting (or have one person sitting on my couch alone, being annoyed that the other person is 15 minutes late for the session). You just go home, eat dinner, and then meet with me in your living room. If one person has to travel they’re included through a three way Skype call from their hotel room. You don’t need a baby sitter because we can schedule our meeting after the little guys are asleep in their rooms, or the bigger ones are extremely pleased that you’re having a “meeting” so they can watch a movie.
It’s just so much easier for couples to meet with me for marriage counseling online. So that’s my theory as to why online marriage counseling is becoming so popular in recent years.
2. Marriage Counseling Online: Emotional Intimacy
But there is another, even more important reason why online marriage counseling can be more effective than in-person marriage counseling. There is an even greater emotional intimacy between myself and the clients I work with online. People are relaxed, in their home environment — their safe place — instead of some office. I think that this creates more openness, and more natural interactions in our meetings.
Because I work with people both online and in person at our Denver offices, I have had the opportunity to notice the difference between how the same couples are in the office and at home. What I have found is that people seem to be more willing to be honest with each other, and able to be more vulnerable. They don’t have to worry about whether or not the receptionist knows if they’ve been crying when they leave.
Even more importantly they have more time to keep going after our session ends. They don’t have to screech off in two separate cars. They don’t have to rush to go pick up the kids. Instead they have time to continue talking about the important things that were coming up in our session. Better yet, they can start implementing the ideas and strategies we may have been talking about right away. Or they can both have some private time to journal or think about our session. Having this time after our meetings helps them get more out of the work.
Online Marriage Counseling: Anywhere In The World
International Marriage Counseling
Another great thing about online marriage counseling is that I’m able to meet with you no matter where in the world you are. Since I specialize in online counseling and coaching, the majority of my clients aren’t even in Colorado. They live across the nation, and internationally. I have clients from Dusseldorf to Dubai, and meet with more than a few “location independent” Tech Nomads — and I love it.
I work with many American Ex-Pats who are living overseas. Quite a few of my couples require online marriage counseling, online premarital counseling or relationship coaching because they are in long-distance relationships. How? Three way video conference calls.
While one of my personal limitations is that I can only work with English-speaking clients, I have another excellent marriage counselor on my team, Ari Kipnis, who is bilingual in English and Spanish. He’s available to meet with you for online marriage counseling in Spanish.
Online Marriage Counseling: The Limitations
Why isn’t everyone doing online marriage counseling? It’s perfect, right?
Actually no. There are very real limitations to online marriage counseling, and it’s not for everyone. For instance, people do need to have a certain degree of comfort with technology. They talk themselves out of trying online counseling or coaching because they think “they’ll be talking to a computer.” Many of these folks are pleasantly surprised by how easy it is, and how emotionally intimate it feels to be speaking to a warm, competent marriage counselor face-to-face in the privacy of their own living room. But still, for many people it’s new, they don’t know what to expect, and they may feel intimidated by the technology. Check out my Guide To Online Therapy if you want to learn more about the nuts-and-bolts of how it all works. Some people just cannot stand the idea of online meetings, and that is okay too.
Furthermore, there are situations where it really is better for you to work with a marriage counselor in person. When we meet with you for a free consultation, we’ll do an assessment to determine if your needs can be met through online marriage counseling / relationship coaching. If not, we will encourage you to meet with us at one of our Denver Metro locations, or connected to a marriage counselor who can meet with you locally if you live outside of Denver.
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is trained as a Psychologist, a Marriage and Family Therapist, and is a Board Certified Life Coach. She is the Founder of Growing Self Counseling and Life Coaching in Denver, Colorado.
Dr. Bobby is the host of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, and the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love.”
We Are Relationship Experts
We have specialized training in marriage and family therapy and years of experience in helping couples reconnect. We use only evidence based strategies that have been proven by research to help you restore your strong bond, and love your relationship again.
M. A., LMFT
Meagan Terry is a relationship specialist. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over nine years of experience in helping couples reconnect, and enjoy each other again. In addition to working one-on-one with couples, she teaches our Lifetime of Love premarital and relationship class.
Teresa Thomas, M.A.
Marriage Counselor, Couples Therapist, Premarital Counselor
Teresa is positive, solution-focused marriage counselor and family therapist with years of experience in helping couples get to the root of their issues, so that they can improve their communication and build a strong foundation for their family.
Dr. Georgiana Spradling, MFT
Marriage Counselor, Couples Therapist, Relationship Coach, Premarital Counselor
Dr. Georgiana is a multilingual Marriage and Family Therapist, Emotional Intelligence Coach and Life Coach with over twenty years of experience in helping couples learn how to communicate and negotiate more fulfilling relationships with each other. Whether your preferred language is English, Spanish or French, her strategic, results-oriented approach to relationship coaching, and couples therapy will move you forward.
M. A., LMFT
Jessica is a dynamic marriage and family therapist with over 8 years of experience in helping individuals, families & couples create more fulfilling lives and relationships, and to function at an optimum level of health and happiness.
Brenda Fahn, M.A., LMFT
Marriage Counselor, Premarital Counselor, Relationship Coach, Dating Coach, Life Coach, Therapist
Brenda Fahn specializes in helping couples create healthy, happy relationships. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, with a positive, direct style and over fifteen years of experience. She teaches our "Lifetime of Love" premarital / relationship class.
Anastacia Sams, M.A., N.C.C., LMFT-C
Marriage Counselor, Family Therapist, Life Coach, Therapist
Anastacia has gentle, yet powerful way of helping couples and families flourish. She uses Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy to help restore your bond. Her authentic, effective approach can help you both hear each other's "noble intentions" and restore your love, trust and respect.
Stephanie Manning, M.A., LMFTC
Marriage Counselor, Premarital Counselor, Parenting Coach, Relationship Coach, Life Coach, Therapist
Stephanie Manning has years of experience in helping couples communicate more effectively, find new solutions to old problems, repair their strong bond, rebuild trust after affairs, successfully blend families, and parent joyfully together.
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Whether our encounters are on the phone, over email, in person, or via Skype, you created an environment where I feel comfortable, safe and valued. As a result, I learn to change the way I talk to myself and view the world, and gain the tools to “unstick” whenever I feel paralyzed. You helped me unearth happiness and contentment. It’s been a consistent driving force behind my personal discovery and growth.
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Have More Questions About Marriage Counseling or Couples Therapy?
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If you have more questions about Marriage Counseling, we are happy to answer them in person. Schedule a free consultation session with one of our expert marriage counselors today. You can meet with them at our Denver or Broomfield Colorado office locations, or through online video conferencing. Call 720-370-1800 for personal assistance in scheduling. (Our phones are answered 24/7). In a private, professional environment we can get to know each other, you can talk about your hopes for your relationship, and start moving forward together in mending your marriage.
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– Former Clients