How Much Are Dating Coaches?

If you’re considering enlisting the help of a private dating coach to help you get better results while dating, one of the first things you might be asking is “How much will a dating coach cost me?”

That’s a reasonable question, and the short answer is… it depends. There are different types of dating coaches and they do different things. Some dating coaches are extremely expensive, and some are quite affordable.

There are dating coaches in Denver, online dating coaches, and online dating classes. Some dating coaches offer enormous value — like, life-changing personal growth experiences. Some are not going to offer you much more than you’d learn in a book or on a dating blog.

So let’s talk through all of it, and also our dating coach rates here at Growing Self.

Different Types of Dating Coaches Charge Differently

Basic online dating coaches: There are different types of practitioners flying the “dating coach” flag. There are extremely self-confident, photogenic (and entirely self-trained) dating coaches all over Instagram that would be thrilled to enroll you in their five-step program for guaranteed dating success. Just like virtually anyone can become a “life coach” without any specialized training, education, or credential, literally anyone can be a dating coach — and there are lot of them out there. I am not sure what they charge. Probably a lot. 

Relationship experts: There are also genuine relationship experts who offer dating coaching services, though they are much more rare. These are often licensed marriage and family therapists who have specialized education and training in helping individuals, couples and families create and maintain healthy, satisfying relationships. 

Consequently, their approach to dating coaching is much more thoughtful and helps you develop yourself on a much deeper level. They know that finding true love requires meaningful personal growth, as well as a dating strategy. For example, if you’re still thinking about your Ex, dealing with trust issues from a past toxic relationship, or if you struggle to love yourself — those things need to be addressed.

Therapists Who Provide Dating Coaching

Working with a therapist — especially a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in relationships — can help you heal, grow, and develop insight about your relationship patterns. This type of pre-work will set you up for success in dating, and dramatically increase the odds that you’ll not only find the right person, but know how to develop a healthy long-term relationship with them.

Unlike a garden-variety self-anointed dating coach who’s all about helping you “learn the rules of the game” {{eyeroll}} the best dating coach will be a true relationship expert, and is going to take a much more meaningful and nuanced approach to help you understand your attachment style in relationships, what you want in a partner, and how to cultivate a healthy, happy long term relationship.

I know exactly the dating coach rates that those effective relationship experts charge because that is what we do here at Growing Self. I’ll share all the details momentarily but in order to help you understand what you’re actually going to be paying for (the value of dating coaching) we need to talk about what a genuinely good Denver dating coach will do for you.

What Do Good Dating Coaches Do?

A dating coach whose goal is to help you create a new healthy relationship is going to start at the beginning. They’ll generally begin with a relationship history that helps identify patterns, strengths, and growth opportunities.

They’ll help you understand your attachment style, core beliefs, and how your relationship experiences shaped your hopes, fears, or expectations for romantic partners. They’ll also help you get clarity about what you want for your life, and how your primary relationship with a partner will fit into that. 

With all that in mind, they’ll help you get clarity about who your ideal partner is, how to find them, how to connect with them (that’s when we will look at your dating profile and talk about first dates!) but — most importantly — how to cultivate a healthy, long term relationship with them.

As you move forward into connecting with and dating new people, a good dating coach will help you use these experiences to further develop your self-awareness and increase your clarity about who you are and what you want — and highlight your own experience of being single, and opportunities for growth. As you connect with a potential partner and begin to navigate a new relationship, a good dating coach will continue to help you navigate the twists and turns, and continue to grow and evolve in your healthy relationship skills.

Really good dating coaching with an authentic relationship expert is a deep, dynamic, and active process that can carry you all the way from looking for love, to standing at the altar — and beyond.

Average Dating Coach Rates at Growing Self:

One of the advantages of working with a larger practice like Growing Self is that you have a variety of options to choose from to fit your needs and your budget. We have a lovely group of licensed therapists, coaches, and couples counselors, many of whom offer dating coaching services.

All of our practitioners have at least a Master’s Degree or doctorate in counseling psychology or marriage and family therapy, plus extra training in coaching. However, their dating coach rates vary in terms of their education and experience. 

1. Our doctoral-level dating coaches each have years of experience in their chosen fields, and hold master’s degrees as well as PhDs, plus certification as coaches. They charge $170 per 45-minute session.
2. Our advanced dating coaches charge $145 per standard 45-minute session.
3. Our master’s level dating coaches charge $125 per 45-minute session and may offer income-based sliding scale dating coach rates as low as $85 per session depending on your income and their availability.
4. The most recent additions to our team (our “early career” dating coaches) are all highly educated, effective therapists and coaches who are working towards licensure under supervision. They typically charge between $75 and $115 per 45 minute session for marriage counseling, couples therapy, premarital counseling, career coaching, effective therapy, dating coaching, and life coaching.

** Longer 60 or 90-minute sessions are available and are pro-rated from the standard session fee.

Unfortunately, dating coaching is not covered by insurance plans. Your health insurance only covers medically necessary behavioral health care for the treatment of a diagnosable mental health condition, such as clinical anxiety and depression — not finding a life partner! 

If, over the course of dating coaching, you and your coach determine that you do meet criteria for a psychiatric diagnosis that is getting in the way of your dating success, you’ll be referred to a mental health professional who can help you resolve your symptoms, which will make your dating coaching even more effective.

Is The Dating Coach Cost “Worth It?”

If the cost of a dating coach still has you on the fence, I’d like to invite you to consider something else: the value of getting support in finding and keeping a healthy lifetime partnership is far more priceless than what you could ever buy with money.

One thing that people sometimes overlook when they think about dating coach rates, is the value of dating coaching. They might not think it’s “worth it” to spend money just for someone to help them find a date, without thinking about the net positives dating coaching can have to their overall well-being. 

You see, our dating coaches at Growing Self aren’t interested in just helping you get a certain number of messages on your dating profile, or filling your phone with numbers you’ll never call. We are here to help you find fulfilling, stable relationships by helping you discover who YOU are and what YOU need. 

The Cost of Dating Coaching Deferred

Here’s an example: Not too long ago I worked with an extremely bright, successful female attorney. Over the years, she’d established and built a stable practice in a large city. She had great friends, a supportive family. By all measures, she was and is an attractive, intelligent, accomplished woman in her mid-thirties. 

However, she didn’t come to see me for simple dating coaching, to help her wade through the dozens of offers you’d expect her to have. Rather, she came to me for help in getting emotionally de-tangled from a toxic “relationship” (or rather, situationship) that she had fallen into.

Despite her intelligence and advanced degrees, she had not taken the same thoughtful approach to her dating life that she had to her career. She left it up to chance, and believed that “feelings” would be enough to guide her. 

She wound up, over a period of years, in a string of “situationships” with men who were not able or willing to have the kind of committed relationship that she was looking for. The latest of these was an intense relationship with a man she met through an online app who swept her off her feet… and then left her dangling on the end of a string. 

At the time, she didn’t know how to recognize the warning flags that she would have if she’d had a good dating coach by her side. Instead, she became deeply attached to yet another selfish, immature person who would never love her back. It was such a familiar situation for her: He would bread-crumb her, and give her just enough to keep her hopes up and hanging on.

As we worked together to help her take her power back from the emotional roller coaster she was on, and clarify her life goals, she became aware that one of her deepest desires was to become a mother. Given that her current romantic situation was so ambiguous, she decided to take matters into her own hands. Thanks to her business success, she had the financial resources for egg-freezing, and she decided to go for it. 

Over the course of this process, unfortunately, she discovered that despite only being in her mid-thirties, her body was no longer creating viable eggs. I sat with her as she confronted the bitter reality: That she’d wasted precious years of her life in a series of dead-end relationships, and that there had been consequences to her decisions. 

Around the same time, things finally came to an end with the latest guy… he’d met someone else.

The Cost of Not Dating Intentionally

I could tell you about the mismatched couples I’ve worked with as a marriage counselor, who struggled through the entirety of their relationship due to having rushed into marriage with an incompatible partner who wanted very different things out of life. 

Or I could tell you about what it’s like to sit with a couple when one person tells the other that they want a divorce, leaving the other devastated, and at rock bottom emotionally and financially.

But I won’t torture you with these sad stories. What I WILL tell you is how often I’ve thought to myself, in these situations, about the pain and suffering that could have been avoided if people had only gone into relationships with more intention, clarity, and a good plan. 

How Much Is a Dating Coach vs.The Value of Healthy Relationships

If you’re considering enlisting the help of a private dating coach to help you get better results while dating, one of the first things you might be asking is “How much will a dating coach cost me?” The answer is, well, how much do you value having a healthy relationship?

In other words, will the value you can get out of a successful dating coaching session (a healthy, long-term relationship, marriage, and children, stability, etc) be worth the monetary cost to you? I mean, there’s the obvious part: Married people have much higher lifetime earnings, financial stability, and accumulated wealth than singles. But again, this is not about money. But the value of getting help to intentionally find the person you’ll build a life with is a question you’ll have to answer for yourself. Here are some things to think about as you weigh your options.

Good dating coaching is arguably even more important than good premarital counseling, in terms of its power to help you avoid the terrible consequences of a difficult, failed relationship.  “Falling in love,” more often than not, is completely coincidental. Anyone can fall for a great body and a winning smile. But STAYING in love, finding the person who can be your true life partner, friend AND lover? That takes actual work, a lot of self-reflection, and a great deal of patience.

You have so many options for who you become attached to, and research consistently shows that who you choose for a life partner can make all the difference on how happy, healthy, and prosperous you become over the course of your lifetime.

Being conscious about who you partner with can create an abundance of joy, and a life of fulfillment. I believe that you deserve nothing less.

When you consider the impact that good dating coaching can have on the trajectory of your life… It’s priceless.

I hope that this information and perspective about the cost of dating coaching has been helpful to you, and helps you make the informed decisions that will ultimately lead to the best “life investments” for you.

Wishing you all the very best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT, BCC( PhD, LP, LMFT, BCC )

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self. She is a licensed psychologist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a board-certified coach, as well as the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Learn more about Dr. Lisa

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