Questions About Dating CoachingDo I Need a Dating Coach, Or Dating Consultant?
Online Dating Coach • Denver Dating Coach • San Francisco Dating Coach • International Dating Consultant
If you're considering enlisting the support of a professional dating coach, or a “dating consultant,” it's probably because either 1) you're a super-proactive person who does things right the first time, OR 2) you've been out there in the dating scene struggling on your own, and feeling increasingly frustrated with the results you've been getting so far. If you're still thinking about whether or not getting involved with a dating coach is right for you, here are some things to consider as you're making your decision:
1. How much time do you have for dating?
There are two aspects to the “how much time do you have” question when it comes to evaluating whether you could benefit from the support of a dating coach. The first is, literally, how much time do you have in the average day or week to put into this? If you're a busy professional, you have a lot going on already. Finding the time to massage your profile statement, lurk around in bars hoping to meet someone, or going on less than spectacular first dates can be a huge drain on your most limited resource: your time.
When you don't have a lot of spare time to spend on dating, it's even more important that the time and energy you can devote to dating is focused, productive, and designed to get you the results you want. While successful dating is always an investment, it's much more enjoyable when you have a dating consultant by your side helping you get your online dating profile just right, learning how to avoid getting involved with dead-end “chatters,” socializing strategically in order to meet the types of people you're most interested, and only going on first dates with promising people.
The second “how much time do you have for dating” question is even bigger-picture. No matter how busy your life currently is (or not), depending on your stage of life, you may want to reduce the time you spend dating around in favor of finding and cultivating a meaningful relationship that has future potential. This feeling of motivation can be especially true for men and women in their thirties and forties who feel that life is starting to pass them by. They see friends and family settling down, getting married, having kids, and moving on into another phase of life. Let's face it, when you want a relationship and all you have are “dates” or ambiguous “situationships” you can start to feel really frustrated.
Working with a great dating coach can be hugely (and ironically) helpful when you don't really want to “date.” If your focus is to find the person you can spend the rest of your life with, an expert dating coach can help you cut through the distractions, stop chasing after the wrong things, and get very strategic about how you go about connecting with people. Having this support and guidance can help you skip over months or years of more dead-end relationships, and into the arms of your true love.
2. Are you confused by modern dating?
Modern dating is fraught with potential pitfalls. Ghosts, Zombies and Breadcrumbs abound, and it can be hard to know how to handle yourself in these situations. Furthermore, if you have one set of expectations for how things should go, and the people you're interacting with have another… it's going to lead to unnecessary frustrations on your part, or you might unintentionally push great prospects away.
Furthermore, you might be getting into situations that just don't make sense to you, like being contacted by people you're not interested in and NOT contacted by the people you'd like to talk to more. Or, you might go out on a couple of dates with someone you like, only to have them disappear. You might be wondering (as anyone does, in these situations), “What am I doing wrong?”
There are so many small turning points in the early stages of a new relationship, and knowing how to handle yourself can make the difference between developing a real and lasting connection with someone you like, or continuing to spin your wheels. Enlisting the support of a good dating coach can help you understand what is really going on can flip on the lights, and help you feel more in control of the situation. By learning the new rules of modern dating, and how to attract the love you want, you can take charge of your love life.
3. Do old patterns keep cropping up?
An extremely important reason to get involved with a good dating coach is if you realize you keep engaging in the same (unhelpful) relationship patterns over and over again, like choosing the wrong partners, losing your voice in relationships, settling for less, or pushing people away. Many times, people aren't even aware of what they're doing in their relationships because their patterns are so old and engrained. (They just feel frustrated by the results they are getting).
If this sounds familiar, getting different results might require having a third party who can help you see your blind-spots. Because all of the dating coaches at Growing Self are trained as therapists and couples counselors in addition to dating coaches, we can help you dig deeper to understand the subconscious thoughts, feelings and “old scripts” about relationships that might be getting in the way of your success.
Our dating coaches offer so much more than just “dating tips.” We can actually help you transform the way you conduct your relationships. By understanding your typical patterns in relationships, like how you communicate, set boundaries, manage insecurities, and how you “show up” to others, you can then become empowered to make conscious, healthy changes. Self-awareness is key to changing anything. Once you understand yourself more deeply, our expert dating coaches can help you heal, grow, and stop engaging in the old patterns that may have sabotaged your relationships in the past. Then, you'll be free to create the bright new future that YOU design, confidently.
4. How much are you prepared to invest in finding the right life-partner?
Lastly another question to seriously consider before you get involved with a private dating coach is how much you're willing to put into this. While some of our dating coaching clients really just want and need to freshen up their strategy and acquire a few tips (which is great) other people need to do some soul-searching and self-exploration to make larger order changes to the way they “do” relationships.
Our approach is flexible and tailored to be exactly what you need. If you are just looking for an online dating profile review, and some tips to help you get better results with your dating or communication, or someone to help you set up your online dating accounts, we can absolutely do that in just a few sessions. And, if you are looking for longer-term, deeper work, we can go there with you too.
However, no matter how we serve you, you should know ahead of time that our effective approach requires collaboration and follow through. Your dating coach will be helping you create assignments that will challenge you, and motivate you to try new things. Working with us is not a passive experience. Furthermore, creating a healthy and lasting relationship is not an “event” but a process that occurs over time. Changing the way you meet people, engage with people, and handle yourself in relationships involves gaining both self-awareness and new skills and strategies. Your commitment to yourself, and your willingness to do the work, is what will ultimately get you the results you want.
If this sounds like the personal growth experience you're looking for, we invite you to get in touch to schedule your free dating coaching consultation to meet with one of our experts and learn more. If, on the other hand, you feel that you could really benefit from just getting new ideas, tips, and specific guidance that you can put to use ASAP, our online dating coaching class “Find The One” is a convenient, affordable, and fast alternative to private dating coaching. Learn more about our dating coaching class.
Meet Some Of Our Dating Coaches
Markie Keelan, M.A., LPCC, CSPC
Dynamic Life, Career & Dating Coach
Markie is a Master's level coach with a positive, compassionate attitude towards personal growth. She has years of experience in helping people create real and lasting change in their lives and performing at the highest level of their potential. Listen to Markie's great dating advice on the "New Rules For Dating" podcast with Dr. Helen Fisher.
Jessica Small, M.A., LMFT
Dating and Relationship Coach
Jessica is a dating coach, as well as a licensed marriage and family therapist, with many years of experience in helping people create happy, healthy, and authentic relationships. She has extensive experience in helping people create healthy relationships, and can help you get self-awareness, clarity, confidence, and empowerment to connect with your soul-mate.
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