What Successful Therapy Looks Like

Here’s what typically happens at Growing Self, and what successful therapy looks like around here…

I got a phone call not too long ago from a professional woman in her thirties. (I’ll call her “Claire”). Even though Claire was well-spoken and confident on the phone I could hear that she was also nervous about asking for help. She was used to solving problems on her own.

A Desire to Be Happy

There were a number of things in her life she wanted to change, but her attempts at changing things on her own felt ineffective. She felt stuck, and genuinely did not know how to move forward. She saw herself as a caring, successful person with lots to be thankful for, and wished that she could just be happy.

A Special Relationship

Like so many of my clients, Claire had friends and a good marriage, but she really needed a special relationship with a caring therapist — the kind of relationship where she could discuss her experiences and her feelings at length, and get useful, insightful feedback. She was so busy that she didn’t often have time to pause and reflect. She didn’t want to burden her close friends or husband by “over-sharing” heavy problems or talking about herself too much. So, her feelings mostly stayed inside and she felt increasingly frustrated.

The Magic of Good Therapy

Claire and I met weekly for a few months, and our relationship became a sanctuary for her. She loved the luxury of having so much time and attention devoted just to her, where she could sort through all her feelings. She liked it when I asked insightful questions or gave her feedback that helped her have “a-ha” moments. Together we unpacked her thoughts and feelings until her experiences started making sense to both of us. We frequently laughed together, and in time she felt safe enough to cry with me too. I think that my ability to listen, ask questions, and genuinely understand her helped her to understand herself.

Online Therapy Makes it Easier

Because Claire was so busy, and traveled so much for her job, she embraced the opportunity to meet with me for therapy through Skype. It was easier for her than meeting in my office. She could open up her laptop and meet with me in HER office during her lunch hour, in her living room in the evening before she went out, and I saw the inside of lots of her hotel rooms as she traveled around the country with her job. Without video conferencing she would only be able to meet with me infrequently, and I don’t think she would have had nearly as successful an experience in therapy without the consistency of our weekly meetings.

Successful Therapy Moves You Forward

As Claire’s understanding of herself grew, she realized that she had some unhelpful beliefs, some unfinished business with her past, some feelings to deal with, and some old ways of doing things that were no longer serving her well. We addressed all of it. Our work helped her feel better, make positive changes, and grow into the person she wanted to be. She learned new skills, got a new outlook on life, and she finally made lasting positive changes. She had grown. At the end of our work she described feeling like she had an “inner makeover” – she was still herself, just the best, happiest version of herself that she could be.

Successful Therapy Can Work For You, Too

I have worked with many, many “Claires.” The specifics of the stories are always unique, but the process of growth is the follows the same course. Like all the therapists of Growing Self, I care deeply about my clients, and work hard to create a special, safe relationship in which they can flourish and grow. If you want to feel better and make positive changes we might be able to do this with you too.