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How to Build Positive Coworker Relationships

How to Build Positive Coworker Relationships

Life Coaching

Developing Your Soft Skills

Fewer things impact your overall satisfaction with your job than the quality of the coworker relationships you have with your peers and leadership. Research into workplace satisfaction reported by MIT’s Sloan Management Review indicates that having positive coworker relationships can increase your creativity, make you more resilient emotionally, and enjoy your work more. All of these help you feel more connected to your career, your workplace and enjoy your job. 

In contrast, feeling disconnected (or worse, in conflict) with your coworkers leads to disengagement from your work, reduced sense of satisfaction with or loyalty to your organization, lower productivity, more stress, and even a toxic workplace environment.

Having positive coworker relationships is vitally important. Playing well with others matters. Here are some tips to developing soft skills that I share with my career coaching clients on how to strengthen coworker relationships– no matter where your work takes place!

Prioritize Positive Interactions

It’s true, technology has interfered with building these important relationships at work. Messaging, email, and virtual meetings often replace chatting together in the breakroom or casual conversations in the hallway. This can create an absence of friendly small talk that leads to closer connections. Particularly if you work at home, you may feel that your interactions with your coworkers are limited to “all business, all the time.”

But even those working in a traditional workplace setting find building effective relationships to be difficult to create and navigate. Particularly when your day is packed with meetings and deliverables, it can be hard to find the time to connect with a coworker on a human-to-human level.

Thankfully, the simplest, most effective relationship-building tools take almost no time at all. Smiling (emojis count), friendly greetings, expressions of empathy, words of appreciation, and questions that convey your interest in the other person as a human being will go a long way in building trust and rapport with your coworkers.

Respect Differences

Not everyone views a work project the same as you do. It’s OK to disagree. Be sure you use a respectful tone and if you are angry, slow down. Consider the best time and approach for voicing your opinion.

Think Positive

Have you ever worked with someone who pretty much killed every idea you’ve ever presented? If so, you know how tough working on their team can be and how little engagement you’ll want with this coworker. Bring good questions and bring solutions to the table for your concerns.

Acknowledge Your Coworkers

A simple “good morning” or “how was your weekend?” is often all it takes. Planning a breaktime walk or coffee together can be a great way to get to know the people you work with everyday.

Practice Listening

Hear your coworkers out, don’t interrupt in meetings, ask for clarification of ideas and let your coworkers know you’re listening. Learning to effectively listen will open conversation up organically. 

Keep Your Commitments

Your work affects everyone on the team. If you commit to a timeline for completing a project, make it happen. Coworkers quickly learn who can be trusted to get their work finished on time.

Share Credit Where Credit is Due

Nothing kills trust like stealing coworkers’ ideas and presenting them as your own. It will be tough to rebuild trust, and your teammates may begin to withhold important ideas and information from you as a result. If it’s your idea, shine. If it’s not, let someone else shine.

What skill will you practice this week? Share with us in the comments section below!

Wishing you success,
Linda Pounds, M.A., LMFT

Linda Pounds, M.A, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage/Family Therapist (LMFT) and Certified Emotional Intelligence Leadership Coach at Growing Self. She works with individuals and couples who face the challenge of merging their work lives with personal lives and the impact each has on the other. Her work with leaders and leadership teams includes Emotional Intelligence (EI) Coaching and assessments, leading to a positive impact on individuals and organizations.

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Four Tips To Inspire Change

Four Tips To Inspire Change

Life Coaching

Take Action Today

It’s always the right time to make positive changes in your life. When I think about the times I’ve felt most inspired to make changes was when I was sick of my current behavior. I tell my life coaching clients often that the pain of staying the same has to outweigh the pain of change. So why is it so hard to begin the process and stay the course? We lack inspiration and healthy habits that keep us focused and seeing results. Here are four tips that you can incorporate into your daily routine to keep you moving forward.

Take Daily Time To Dream 

Take 5 minutes per day, say 3 times per week to start. Just journal or allow yourself to let your mind wander to bigger things. What does it feel like to step off the plane and see that destination you’ve been wanting to visit your whole life? See yourself in the mirror with that amazing dress you saw last week. Do you picture a board room with all faces fixed on you as you deliver a kick-ass presentation? Whatever it is, picture every detail using all 5 senses. Your brain can’t differentiate if it’s your imagination or if it is actually happening. That means you can enjoy all the pleasure hormones running through your system without having to do anything but dream. 

Remove Barriers

If you’re anything like me, you have a long to-do list always breathing down your neck. I am an expert procrastinator and I will wait to do something until I absolutely have to. This drains so much mental energy. It’s there, you know it is, and you’re not doing anything about it. Write down all the things rolling through you mind that have to get done and start with the easiest, less complicated thing first. I love checking things off my list. It helps me feel like I’m making progress. You get your power back when you start accomplishing small tasks that usually steal your joy, energy, and present mindedness. 

Set Daily Intentions

I took on this new discipline and I LOVE it! I get out my journal for 2 minutes at the beginning of the day and write “I’m intending to do ___ today”. I then list out all the things I want to accomplish that day. It may be as simple as drinking 4 bottles of water or putting together an outline for a book. I write things on there that I know I can do (easy) and one or two more challenging items to push me forward. 

Empowerment Journal

At the end of the night, I write myself a love letter. I know, cheesy, but it works! I tell myself how much I accomplished, and the things I did that I’m proud of. I write about being inspired and my focus, as well as the moments that I loved about the day. Many of us need verbal affirmation of the things we do, and we often hardly get it. You can do this for yourself and it will change you to your core. There is nothing more inspiring than being your own cheerleader. You’ll then feel more inspired to cheer others on instead of focusing on what others are doing that you’re not or have that you don’t. 

Nothing changes unless you change the things you do daily. Do you have a daily practice that keeps you focused and intentional? Share it with us in the comments section! 

Kindly, 
Sonya Jensen M.A., LMFT

Sonya Jensen, M.A., LMFT is a kind, effective marriage counselor, couples therapist, premarital counselor, dating coach, life coach, and breakup counselor, who is devoted to helping you create the life and love you want.

Let’s  Talk

Read More By Sonya Below!

Designing Your Life: How to Create The Life You Want

Designing Your Life: How to Create The Life You Want

Life Coaching

Maggie Graham, M.A., LPC, CPC is a life coach and career coach with Growing Self. She is one of 45 international coaches certified in the Designing Your Life curriculum that is based on the New York Times #1 bestselling book. She specializes in helping people create their ideal careers, and attain their personal and professional goals.

It’s Time to Grow…

The fall season is nearly upon us, and with it comes fresh, transformational energy. If you’re like many people showing up at Growing Self for life coaching, career coaching or therapy right now, it’s because this is the time of year to let go of the old, get re-aquainted with yourself, and design new goals for the next chapter of your life.

To support you in your quest for personal evolution, life coach and career coach Maggie Graham will be sharing her advice for how to move forward fearlessly in your career, your life and your relationships.

On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast Maggie is talking about:

  • How to organize your life around what brings you the most energy and fulfillment
  • Identifying the self limiting beliefs that may be holding you back
  • Avoiding the common, self-sabotaging traps of perfectionism and negative self-talk
  • Resources to help you to get clear about your values and your goals
  • Key skills to making good decisions about where to go next with your life
  • How to transform your personal and professional relationships

Here are the links to the life coaching and career coaching resources we discussed in this podcast:

All the best,

Maggie Graham, M.A., LPC, CPC and Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

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Designing Your Life: How to Create the Life and Career You Want

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

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How to Be Your Best Self

How to Be Your Best Self

Embrace the Amazing Person You Already Are.

If you’re like most of our life coaching or therapy clients, you’re intelligent, objectively successful, and a kind person who many people love, respect, and admire.
And yet… You might not feel like you’re really as amazing as you could be. You believe that you can do more, be more, feel more clear about who you are, and feel better about the way you’re living your life. Most importantly, you believe you can be happier, enjoy your life more than you do.
You believe there’s a higher, and more self-actualized version of you somewhere inside of you. And if you’re like most people, sometimes you feel frustrated or get down on yourself when you can’t be the person you know you can be, all the time. Here are some tips to help you intentionally make contact with the best part of yourself, and allow more of that “real you” to take positive action in your life:

Tips For Cultivating Your Best Self

l. Notice when you’re already being who you want to be.

You know that feeling you have when you do something healthy, good or positive? Like the way you feel when you leave yoga class, or the gym? Or when you choose the kale power-salad for lunch? Or get some amazing feedback from your boss or coworker about what a good job you did? Or when you spend a gorgeous day outside, or in the company of someone you love? Or when you’re totally absorbed in flow? Or exhilarating yourself to embrace a challenge, or learn something new? Yes?

You DO have those moments. And all of those are times when your happy, best self is at the front and center of your life already.

When you intentionally focus on what’s going right in your life, it shifts your perspective and your mood. It helps you to feel like the person you want to be, which in turn helps you intentionally cultivate more of the you that you want.

2. Stop Beating yourself up.

Do you scold, and shame yourself for every little thing? Do you call yourself names? Do you sweep aside all of the positive, good things you have going on and criticize yourself for the negative, instead?
You’re not alone. We’ all internalize an inner voice that lives inside us, and that narrates our experiences. Many people, sadly, have come to believe that the “key to staying motivated” is to be ruthlessly harsh, demanding or even demeaning to themselves if they’re not perfectly perfect.

However, what we know from decades of research into positive psychology, cognitive behavioral therapy, and healthy human development, (learn more about evidence-based therapy) is that when people feel safe to learn from their mistakes, accepted and supported, respected and valued, they can grow and evolve. In contrast, people who feel that mistakes are catastrophic and who believe that they are intrinsically bad, worthless, or irredeemable will get stuck and paralyzed with shame and fear.

Decide to be an emotionally safe, supportive and respectful friend to yourself. (Read: “How to Love Yourself”) Cultivate an encouraging “growth mindset.” Learning how to accept yourself, and be affirming and compassionate with yourself just as you are, will (paradoxically), allow you to grow and bloom.

Want more inspiration for how to cultivate a growth mindset? Check out this video from Heidi Grant Halverson:

 

3. Stop comparing yourself to others.

 

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” — Plato

It is such a common mistake; to believe that no one else feels the way you do, or doesn’t wrestle with the same stressors or pain- points. Especially as more of our social lives are dominated by carefully curated posts and photos, it can be easy to trick yourself into believing that everyone else is happy and has all this stuff figured out already. At a distance it’s easy to imagine that everyone is as gorgeous, accomplished, successful, intelligent and confident as they appear. As you appear.

And yet every singe person walking this earth (including me!) has a mandate to learn, grow, and figure out how to live intentionally, responsibly, mindfully, and happily. Every day brings new opportunities for us to increase our capacity for love and compassion — both for ourselves and others. Everyone has good days and days they wish they could do over. Oprah Winfrey herself probably has moments where she snaps at someone, or says something she regrets, or feels frustrated… or cries. Yes, Oprah cries too. We’re all on a path of growth and personal evolution. And you’re just like everyone else on the earth, trying to figure it out.

Except that you are woke. Sadly, many people don’t even consider the possibility that they can do better, or be better. They just do what they’ve always done (even if it’s painful and unsatisfying, or leads to not-so-great outcomes) without ever having the thought in their head that they have the power to choose who they are, and what they want their lives to be about. They may genuinely believe fate alone created their circumstances, and that they have no control over themselves, the results they get, or their ultimate destiny.

But you do. You know you have the power to grow and to do more. That’s why you’re reading this article. The fact of that is evidence that you are self-aware, and already actively embracing growth, and are already moving forward on your glorious path of personal evolution.

Here’s to you,
Lisa Marie Bobby

The Secret to Changing Anything. (And Everything.)

The Secret to Changing Anything. (And Everything.)

Why Is It So Hard To Change… For Long?

People start coaching or counseling eager to jump in and make new things happen. That is admirable, and enthusiasm is certainly the catalyst for great things. We must have hope in order to even try to change.

We all start out with grand plans and make sweeping, dramatic gestures to mark our transition into a better life: Buying personal productivity solutions, new workout clothes, cutting up all the credit cards, throwing away the half eaten bags of Ruffles, making solemn promises to be nicer to your partner, or flushing the cigarettes down the toilet.  Things are going to be different now. These rituals of change feel like the door to a new life, and we feel very pleased with ourselves for several days.

But then…. it gets frustrating. Things get hard, get annoying, get boring, or we get upset and sure enough — snap right back into our old patterns. It’s easy to feel discouraged and get tricked into believing that you can’t do it.

But you can, my friend. You most certainly can.

You can have it all. You can have better relationships, lose weight, save money, achieve your goals, be healthier, sleep better and feel happer.

Your ability to change your life is the same as everyone else’s. What is the key to making lasting change? Listen to this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast and find out.

xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.growingself.com

The Secret To Changing Anything. (And Everything.)

Listen Now.

 

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