Marriage Counseling Questions
Marriage Counseling Success Stories
By Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
People often wonder whether couples therapy works. Specifically, they wonder whether couples therapy will work for them.
(And to clarify, the terms “couples therapy,” “couples counseling,” and “marriage counseling” are interchangeable. Marriage counseling is the term that’s used when a married couple is in therapy together, and couples counseling is the general term used for the same therapy when a couple is committed, but isn’t married. The kinds of techniques the marriage counselor uses and the goals of therapy are often similar).
All relationships have ups and downs. Frustrations or hurtful feelings that stem from relationship problems can have a major impact on your life. You might find yourself thinking about the relationship a lot, or worried about how things are going to get better. At these times, couples who care about their relationships often seek outside support to repair their relationship.
There are plenty of statistics to show you about how effective couples therapy can be, but stories of successful couples therapy are often more revealing. Here’s an example of what couples therapy looks like in action.
Does Couples Counseling Work? Ask Chris and Karen.
“Chris and Karen” (not their real names) typify the couples we see. Chris emailed us for a couples therapy consultation meeting, saying that he and his wife needed help to improve their communication.
During our first meeting we started to sort through their concerns. They described periods of relative peace and calm punctuated by “tense moments” that sometimes led to fights. Karen seemed frustrated but I could see that under the surface she was really hurting. With just a few gentle questions from me the hurt poured out and she told me that she felt very lonely and uncared for by her husband sometimes.
Chris sat with his face reddening, and at first seemed reluctant to talk. But with my support, he was able to open up about how he felt like she was always upset with him, and how that made him want to withdraw. He was able to talk about how he felt lonely and like his needs were going unmet too.
They talked about how their relationship had changed since the birth of their first child, and how irritation and hurt seemed to have replaced the affection and fun they once shared. Karen, Chris and I meet weekly for 12 weeks (the average number of sessions for successful marriage counseling), and our couples therapy appointments became the “safe place” where they each trusted that they would be heard and understood. In our meetings they could talk about hard, yet necessary topics without it turning into a fight.
I helped them to understand each other’s feelings and needs. Session by session their empathy for each other grew and their attitudes toward each other softened. Once they started to feel better about each other, we began discussing the practical strategies their relationship needed to thrive.
They learned communication skills, new ways of doing things, and between our appointments they practiced the things we were talking about in therapy. Meeting through face-to-face video conferencing was essential to their success. Without it they would never have been able to keep their weekly appointments with me.
I know from experience that marriage counseling works when couples are committed to the process. Going two or three weeks between meetings can be detrimental. They always kept their appointments with me because it was so easy. They met with me on a laptop at their kitchen table, after dinner. They never had to find childcare for their daughters, and Karen often nursed their baby while we talked.
I often schedule individual meetings with both people in a couple, and Karen usually saw me at home during nap-time. I met with Chris during lunch hour at his office. When Chris traveled, as he frequently did, the three of us were still able to meet together, each from a different location, and the steady, forward momentum of their therapy continued.
Over time both Chris and Karen came to understand each other’s point of view and each became willing to try new things in response. We talked about housework, parenting, sex, money, in-laws, communication, time together and much more. We put new plans in place that honored both of their feelings, and the fights stopped.
But, more importantly, they felt closer and more connected to each other. They had fun again. And they learned the skills and tools to ensure that when they hit another rough patch in the future, they could work through it on their own.
During our last meeting they sat on their couch with their arms around each other and seemed so in love. They had both grown enormously, and they seemed genuinely appreciative of each other. It was beautiful to see!
The Love, Happiness
& Success Podcast
Another Real-World Example of Relationship Coaching That Works: Jenny and Greg
Dr. Bobby was called in to help save the relationship of Denver morning radio show hosts Jenny and Greg. Here’s what happened next…
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is trained as a Psychologist, a Marriage and Family Therapist, and is a Board Certified Life Coach. She is the Founder of Growing Self Counseling and Life Coaching in Denver, Colorado.
Dr. Bobby is the host of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, and the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love.”
We Are Relationship Experts
We have specialized training and years of experience in helping couples reconnect. We use only evidence based strategies that have been proven by research to help you restore your strong bond, and love your relationship again.
Brenda Fahn, M.A., LMFT
Marriage Counselor, Premarital Counselor, Relationship Coach, Dating Coach, Life Coach, Therapist
Brenda Fahn specializes in helping couples create healthy, happy relationships. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, with a positive, direct style and over fifteen years of experience. She teaches our “Lifetime of Love” premarital / relationship class.
Stephanie Manning, M.A., LMFTC
Marriage Counselor, Premarital Counselor, Parenting Coach, Relationship Coach, Life Coach, Therapist
Stephanie Manning has years of experience in helping couples communicate more effectively, find new solutions to old problems, repair their strong bond, rebuild trust after affairs, successfully blend families, and parent joyfully together.
Ari Kipnis, M.S.W., LCSW
Marriage Counselor, Premarital Counselor, Relationship Coach, Therapist, Life Coach, Career Coach
Ari Kipnis has over ten years of experience in helping couples get back on the same page and rediscover their love for each other through positive, effective, solution-focused strategies.
Kathleen Stutts, M.Ed., NCC, LPCC
Therapist, Life Coach, Marriage Counselor, Dating Coach
Kathleen is a Marriage Counselor and Relationship Coach with a warm, gentle style that will help you both feel comfortable, respected, and understood. She has a gift for helping couples understand each other compassionately, and start enjoying each other again.
Kristy Vergo, M.A., NCC, LMFTC
Marriage Counselor, Relationship Coach, Premarital Counselor, Life Coach, Therapist
Kristy Vergo is a kind, non-judgmental marriage counselor who specializes in helping couples repair their trust, restore their connection, grow together as individuals, and take their relationship to a new level of emotional intimacy.
Polly Drew, M.Ed., LMFT
Marriage Counselor, Parenting Coach, Therapist
Polly is a marriage counselor has over 25 years of experience in helping couples “come back from the brink,” heal their strong bond, and enter into a positive and satisfying new chapter of life together.
What Our Clients Say:
You provided us such a safe place to be honest with ourselves and with each other our fear of being vulnerable and weak were transformed into a feeling of opportunity to be heard. My husband and I are better friends, parents, lovers and companions than we have ever been.
– Former Clients
Have questions? Call anytime. We answer 24/7.
Have More Questions About Marriage Counseling or Couples Therapy?
We Have Answers.
If you have more questions about Marriage Counseling, we are happy to answer them in person. Schedule a free consultation session with one of our expert marriage counselors today. You can meet with them at our Denver or Broomfield Colorado office locations, or through online video conferencing. Call 720-370-1800 for personal assistance in scheduling. (Our phones are answered 24/7). In a private, professional environment we can get to know each other, you can talk about your hopes for your relationship, and start moving forward together in mending your marriage.
What do good marriage counselors actually do? Learn about the art and science of relationship repair...
Everything you need to prepare for your free consultation.
You shouldn't be in marriage counseling for years. Learn how long effective, evidence based marriage counseling usually takes to work.
Getting expert help for your marriage can be the best, most life-changing decision you ever make. It can also be surprisingly affordable.
Insurance can cover marriage counseling. Educate yourself around how to use it, and how to avoid the risks.
Not all marriage counselors are the same. Getting involved with a bad one can be a disaster. Here's how to find the right marriage counselor...
Marriage counseling has been shown by countless research studies to be effective and long lasting. Here's what the research has to say...